Being a Character Formation Lecturer (Insights after 3 years)
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I am in my fourth year teaching what some may call a niche subject, a useless subject, waste of time, least important subject. But... I have been teaching it for three years and I am still here. What retains me? And what have I learnt from all of this? Before you continue reading, please do not take anything to heart, I am laying these insights as it is and of course it is a learning process. But all would make sense if you wait to the end or else just skip to the end.
What makes me stay?
I am no great writer that is able to throw philosophical ideas or scholarly writing. That just isn't me. I am here writing in plain English what my experiences are. What makes me stay is because this was where God had brought me. I thought I was just gonna do plain lecturing but He placed me in a position to serve students in many capacities at a junction in their lives where they are seeking for fresh perspective and outlook on truth, identity, and hardship. It is by far a humbling process. But the biggest reason for me is being part of God's will and his narrative. To know that I playing a small small part in the grand scheme of his Kingdom.
By far the most rewarding experience as to date because I am learning so much from them. Yes every theory and concept of life I bring forward is by researchers and authors who compiled other people's research to be synthesized. But the fun part is having them discuss how those concepts are brought forth into realities in their lives and how some theories may not be the case. Being brought into their world to see things the way they see it and sharing perspectives that constructs and reconstructs ideologies rather than pure transmission from the lecturer is what I get to learn.
I also learnt that content is not what they are seeking. They can look it up online. They are looking to be heard and engaged. They want to know you and how you choose to make your stand before they would even listen to you. They assess my character before anything. So half the time I am focused on student engagement rather than pure lecture because I need to connect with their hearts first before showing them the contents of their hearts. Had I go top down approach and tell them what to believe, no matter how true or research based it would be I would have lost them.
I learn that no matter what, those who get it will get it. Those who do not get it, well perhaps revelation will hit another way or another time. Haters will be haters. But all in all I come with a belief that there is something worth exploring with the students to learn from each other and for that I am constantly thinking of ways to spice things up with them from playing games in class, to movies, to role-playing, through identity assessments, on and on I can go.
After all, I just need one student who says I get it. Call it boasting or what not. I call it a privilege to be able to add value into students' lives. That is why I try my best to remember their names. It is with the belief that every life matters and the first step to know that they matter is to remember their primary identity. Their names.
I have peers who support me all the way with what I do and I am grateful. I have peers who think what I do may be a waste of time. Hear me out. I use to be affected by this. But now I only realize it simply means that they value different things from me. With that understanding I let it go because I am not to blame them or be offended by them. But those who share the same values with me journey along side with me in their capacity to hear me out and lend me a hand where they can.
It is also why every thing I teach in my class I ensure it is not by me. I am not some guru on the hill. But I constantly read from books like, super freakonomics, the future is Asian, Empathy, Starting with Why, Animal Farm, 12 rules for life (granted some that are listed are still on my reading list) and what I do is I synthesize the information and bring it down to earth for the students to relate. It is the least I can do to create credibility in my content.
Some might think all I do is pure bullshit. Well for starters, I will admit I have a really really good skill of bullshitting. Or let me word it in a better manner. I use wordplay and wit to send a message out for people to receive. But just like students haters will be haters. But not because either of us is wrong, but rather just think time could be better used else where.... Though....hehehe I have research backing me up.
Mind I say this may be the most frustrating bit. But it is something I am learning to weather. Not sure how well I am doing in this department but it is something again I can't blame anyone. For those who have seen me in action probably can see some form of potential as they see me in student engagement. Some go as far as to say I can continue on with Masters in Student Development one day.
But their argument is sound and solid. I am a young person who has not eaten enough salt to teach life. I have little experiences to share. I am doing it wrong. I am young. I am naive. (By all means take my job because I know there are plenty who can do better than me) The list continues on. What do I do? I try my level best to take it in. Eat the humble pie. Because what else is left for me to do? What I do know is even then, they still allow me the space to do what I can to teach. So my efforts come from the understanding that truth is truth regardless of who teaches it and I try my best to use timeless examples from older people rather than my own stories.
I learn to pick my battles. Out of the three, I'd focus my main battles with the students because that is what I am here for. They are the ones I am actually engaging. But where am I going with all of this?
What makes me stay?
At the end of the day, the honest answer is simply this. Whatever my desert period you may call it, my valley of Baka or what not... I come with the clarity fortunately or unfortunately with one thing. I know whatever the season, God has made clear to me in my prayers and my peers that He has got me exactly where He wants me to be. It is not where I want to be. But it was not about me. It was about trusting that God knows better than me and that He is good.
I can only take one step at a time in all humility and boast in my weakness. Because at the end of the day, I am not the one that is awesome but Christ in me. In my weakness I will teach and carry on with the strength that Christ gives me so that when people see me they will not go "Eddryll is really good at teaching on life" (I will not lie that that thought though prideful is enticing at times). But when they see me the ultimate answer I want to get is "God was with him all the way". He gets the praise, He gets the glory. I know my limitations as a human. It was God that enabled me. If God was to make an example of His glory through my weakness then by all means do so.
With that comes this verse again from Philippians 3: 13 - 16
I like Paul am not there yet. Nor have I made it on my own. I am far from it. But one thing I will also do is forget what lies behind me. You see, many look behind to know what their past is like to understand themselves. But in Christ, when I look forward I too have much to do for I understand there is much in the future as well to understand myself. Because of that hope, I strain forward to what lies ahead. I press on. For I know that the goal is Jesus Christ. I will hold true to what I have attained. His amazing grace and the cross.
My only hope comes in two levels. Earthly and Heavenly.
1. Earthly - Is that I continue to love Jesus and if I do I should faithfully feed his sheep.
2. Heavenly - To hear the words "Well done good and faithful servant..."
I am in my fourth year teaching what some may call a niche subject, a useless subject, waste of time, least important subject. But... I have been teaching it for three years and I am still here. What retains me? And what have I learnt from all of this? Before you continue reading, please do not take anything to heart, I am laying these insights as it is and of course it is a learning process. But all would make sense if you wait to the end or else just skip to the end.
13 Brothers, I do not consider that I have made it my own. But one thing I do: forgetting what lies behind and straining forward to what lies ahead, 14 I press on toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus. 15 Let those of us who are mature think this way, and if in anything you think otherwise, God will reveal that also to you.16 Only let us hold true to what we have attained.
What makes me stay?
I am no great writer that is able to throw philosophical ideas or scholarly writing. That just isn't me. I am here writing in plain English what my experiences are. What makes me stay is because this was where God had brought me. I thought I was just gonna do plain lecturing but He placed me in a position to serve students in many capacities at a junction in their lives where they are seeking for fresh perspective and outlook on truth, identity, and hardship. It is by far a humbling process. But the biggest reason for me is being part of God's will and his narrative. To know that I playing a small small part in the grand scheme of his Kingdom.
The Students
By far the most rewarding experience as to date because I am learning so much from them. Yes every theory and concept of life I bring forward is by researchers and authors who compiled other people's research to be synthesized. But the fun part is having them discuss how those concepts are brought forth into realities in their lives and how some theories may not be the case. Being brought into their world to see things the way they see it and sharing perspectives that constructs and reconstructs ideologies rather than pure transmission from the lecturer is what I get to learn.
I also learnt that content is not what they are seeking. They can look it up online. They are looking to be heard and engaged. They want to know you and how you choose to make your stand before they would even listen to you. They assess my character before anything. So half the time I am focused on student engagement rather than pure lecture because I need to connect with their hearts first before showing them the contents of their hearts. Had I go top down approach and tell them what to believe, no matter how true or research based it would be I would have lost them.
I learn that no matter what, those who get it will get it. Those who do not get it, well perhaps revelation will hit another way or another time. Haters will be haters. But all in all I come with a belief that there is something worth exploring with the students to learn from each other and for that I am constantly thinking of ways to spice things up with them from playing games in class, to movies, to role-playing, through identity assessments, on and on I can go.
After all, I just need one student who says I get it. Call it boasting or what not. I call it a privilege to be able to add value into students' lives. That is why I try my best to remember their names. It is with the belief that every life matters and the first step to know that they matter is to remember their primary identity. Their names.
The Peers
I have peers who support me all the way with what I do and I am grateful. I have peers who think what I do may be a waste of time. Hear me out. I use to be affected by this. But now I only realize it simply means that they value different things from me. With that understanding I let it go because I am not to blame them or be offended by them. But those who share the same values with me journey along side with me in their capacity to hear me out and lend me a hand where they can.
It is also why every thing I teach in my class I ensure it is not by me. I am not some guru on the hill. But I constantly read from books like, super freakonomics, the future is Asian, Empathy, Starting with Why, Animal Farm, 12 rules for life (granted some that are listed are still on my reading list) and what I do is I synthesize the information and bring it down to earth for the students to relate. It is the least I can do to create credibility in my content.
Some might think all I do is pure bullshit. Well for starters, I will admit I have a really really good skill of bullshitting. Or let me word it in a better manner. I use wordplay and wit to send a message out for people to receive. But just like students haters will be haters. But not because either of us is wrong, but rather just think time could be better used else where.... Though....hehehe I have research backing me up.
The Management
Mind I say this may be the most frustrating bit. But it is something I am learning to weather. Not sure how well I am doing in this department but it is something again I can't blame anyone. For those who have seen me in action probably can see some form of potential as they see me in student engagement. Some go as far as to say I can continue on with Masters in Student Development one day.
But their argument is sound and solid. I am a young person who has not eaten enough salt to teach life. I have little experiences to share. I am doing it wrong. I am young. I am naive. (By all means take my job because I know there are plenty who can do better than me) The list continues on. What do I do? I try my level best to take it in. Eat the humble pie. Because what else is left for me to do? What I do know is even then, they still allow me the space to do what I can to teach. So my efforts come from the understanding that truth is truth regardless of who teaches it and I try my best to use timeless examples from older people rather than my own stories.
I learn to pick my battles. Out of the three, I'd focus my main battles with the students because that is what I am here for. They are the ones I am actually engaging. But where am I going with all of this?
What makes me stay?
At the end of the day, the honest answer is simply this. Whatever my desert period you may call it, my valley of Baka or what not... I come with the clarity fortunately or unfortunately with one thing. I know whatever the season, God has made clear to me in my prayers and my peers that He has got me exactly where He wants me to be. It is not where I want to be. But it was not about me. It was about trusting that God knows better than me and that He is good.
I can only take one step at a time in all humility and boast in my weakness. Because at the end of the day, I am not the one that is awesome but Christ in me. In my weakness I will teach and carry on with the strength that Christ gives me so that when people see me they will not go "Eddryll is really good at teaching on life" (I will not lie that that thought though prideful is enticing at times). But when they see me the ultimate answer I want to get is "God was with him all the way". He gets the praise, He gets the glory. I know my limitations as a human. It was God that enabled me. If God was to make an example of His glory through my weakness then by all means do so.
With that comes this verse again from Philippians 3: 13 - 16
13 Brothers, I do not consider that I have made it my own. But one thing I do: forgetting what lies behind and straining forward to what lies ahead, 14 I press on toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus. 15 Let those of us who are mature think this way, and if in anything you think otherwise, God will reveal that also to you.16 Only let us hold true to what we have attained.
I like Paul am not there yet. Nor have I made it on my own. I am far from it. But one thing I will also do is forget what lies behind me. You see, many look behind to know what their past is like to understand themselves. But in Christ, when I look forward I too have much to do for I understand there is much in the future as well to understand myself. Because of that hope, I strain forward to what lies ahead. I press on. For I know that the goal is Jesus Christ. I will hold true to what I have attained. His amazing grace and the cross.
My only hope comes in two levels. Earthly and Heavenly.
1. Earthly - Is that I continue to love Jesus and if I do I should faithfully feed his sheep.
2. Heavenly - To hear the words "Well done good and faithful servant..."
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