My Quiet moment.

The times when I am alone, I pray and be reflective on everything. I had a lot on my mind. Was reading the Bible when this verse came to me.

Phllipians 4:6 "Don't worry about anything; instead pray about everything. Tell God what you need and thank him for all he has done" (NLT).

Being human, easier said. How is it that even though God has affirmed us so many times, we still worry and fail to put our trust in him? Yes the moment we worry we fail to put our trust in him. We are just human. But yes do keep the habit of praying for everything. the moment you worry you just pray.

I have no doubt of where God has placed me. And yes, compared to others, I can say I do have a blessed life. But that does not mean my struggles are any less. I am in the phase of God moulding me. So he has to shape me, sometimes break the parts where are deemed not important. I admit, I have never changed so much before from the moment I got into college last year till my degree year now. The change is even greater compared to all the years combined before that. I do not mean literally but the emphasis is on how much revelation God has shown me about him, and about myself.

I pray, Lord, what is it that you want me to learn? What is it that you want me to see? What is it that you are wanting me to let go off? The revelations that God showed about me we not pretty at all indeed. Yes I was blind and now I see. The truth hurts. Now that God has healed my sight, I need him badly to see me through this valley. I need him to help me understand. I constantly reminded that his grace is sufficient for me. I will have to hold on as he breaks me and change me I know he has something better in stored for me. But right now I am on a road that He has made crooked and I cant straighten it. So my as well live with it in his will.

Jeremiah 29:11 "For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." Truly little by little you are revealing it to me.
I am indeed so far from who you want me to be God. I am such a fake. There are many parts in my life that I want to change. I want to be the man you can say "Well done my faithful servant". I want to be a good friend to another, an encourager. I want to be your success story. But from where I am now, I am not even close. That is why I need you to change me. Yes indeed somehow the process may not be fun. There is cost to incur. 
Lord, help me, teach me to just seek your face. Come I plead for you to take your rightful place in my heart. By my strength I can't focus. But with your help Lord I can =). Forgive me if I sound like I am condemning myself. But lord, change me. I am nothing, nothing at all and yet, you would come to my level. I do not know how else to express anything. You never said this road would be easy, but you said that you will never leave. You never promised that this life wasn't hard but you promised that you would take care of me. So help me to stop searching for an answer or an escape and trust you God with where I am and believe that you will have your way.

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