The One Year Mark

There is much to give thanks for. Truly I thought the post was specifically on me being a lecturer and how God has worked through it. But there is a bigger picture to it. One may list down all the achievements and how God has brought them to much greater heights. This is not the type of thanksgiving kind of post. 

Well let me show you what I mean. (Oh and feel free to stop reading if this was not what you expect it to be) Whatever has happened be it good or bad let me just say all glory to God nonetheless. Blessed is the Lord who giveth and taketh away (Job1:21). So what has this one year taught me?

1. For this one year I realized how much more of a sinner I am. Now now, I am not beating myself up. It is just a reality of mine. That in many things I can't seem to do things right. I mean if perfection is the idea then I am failing like nobody's business. But glad that it creates an allowance for the gospel to reign in my heart even more. Make it more of a reality. Keeping my eyes constantly focused on the author and perfector of my faith. Jesus. (Yes I like to make disclaimers) I am not saying that humans are not capable of love or being good. But somehow the reality I am faced with is in general no one is truly good.
Well a student memed me. And I have to admit, pretty on point considering what I teach in class.
2. For this one year I am grateful for what the Holy Spirit has revealed to me. Things about me. Opening doors I'd never open but necessary for sanctification. To surrender what I held back to God even when I thought I had given it up. To learn to understand how he works because man my God is weird.

God has been teaching me to slow down. But it is one lesson I still fail to learn. And this year has truly been a constant Romans 7 -8 in repeat. "The things I want to do I don't do, but the things shouldn't do I do a wretched man I am!" Hahaha. To know that sinless perfection is not the goal for Christ has already done it for me. But the Holy Spirit is working in me towards functional holiness. To understand what it means to have no condemnation for those who are in Christ. I do not know how else to express such a gratitude

3. For this one year I thank you for colleagues and bosses who gave allowance for my mistakes and allowed me to learn in a gracious setting. Also for colleagues who were constantly supportive of me and encouraging me all the way. I know some say do not mix friends and work together but truly I have found many friends in where I work.

I will conclude it this way. After this one year God has been who he has always been. Faithful. I made a prayer to follow his will. What happened? He called me out onto the waters, truly the great unknown where feet has failed. And it is there I find Him in the mystery, in oceans deep, where my faith will stand.

I had to call upon Him. Keep my eyes above the waves when oceans rise. Had no were else to rest but only in His embrace knowing that I belong to Him and He in me. It is at the ocean deep where his grace truly abounds. Being abandoned to Him, His sovereign hand is my guide. My feet has failed and I am terrified to where God is calling me. Paralyzed. But I am reminded that God has never failed and obviously he will not even now. Holy Spirit has lead me where my trust is without borders and took me deeper than my feet could ever wander. (Seriously, the song oceans is actually a scary song to sing or actually the actual response we should actually bring, when that song really becomes a reality in your life, man does it stretch you)

To realize I have much to learn in this one year. That God can really blow your mind way out of your expectations. I am far from where God wants me to be. Constantly humbled. Knowing that I am far from my design still. One thing I know, I was blinded but now I see better. So one thing I do, I press on forgetting the past and persevering ahead to the prize for which God has called me to in Jesus Christ. And finally, one thing I then ask. It shall be the only thing I ask. Though my heart may not be there yet, I know it be true. It will be the most important thing. The thing I seek most.Is to live in the house of the Lord all the days of my life, delighting in the Lord's perfections and meditating in his Temple.

Sure I can be thankful for the good things that has happened. Praise God for that. But it just ain't that kind of gratitude kind of post.

P.S. Whatever achievements that has happened has very little to none of my individual merits. It was simply being at the right place at the right time having the right opportunities. Truly looking back I have to admit coming to a revelation that it was not some, "I worked hard and persevered and worked through it" kind of story. Not saying that is wrong or it does not work. I am saying for me, I was messing up the whole year that is how I know my individual merit does not count. But I had the right mentors. The right timing. The right job. The right friends. The right experiences from the past that aided me to be in the right job.

Speaking of job. I also count it rare. To have one's vocation, calling, talent, and profession to all be in sync at this point is truly a blessing I would say. So yes, conclusion. Same as always. Grateful.

But if you want to know more on what I teach, Click here as in here. This This....I mean.....THIIIIISSS





Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

My Testimony(My Grandmother)

So lately I haven't been updating my blog. I'll tell you why now. After my finals, I had to go to Penang, to visit my ill grandmother. My mother was pestering me and my brother to hurry back afraid she would not make it. My friends could see it in my face that I was troubled. So I did go to Penang with my friends on one Sunday morning. BTW, my grandmother suffered from cancer of the pancreas. Seeing my grandmother... I was in shock, she was so frail and thin. I ask her how was she and she replied " What do you think?" . I said " You look, very thin grandma" and she nodded. She was really weak. The next day she could not speak at all. She had no energy to open her eyes or even utter a word, just moan. My mother was taking care of her for the pass three weeks. I came and helped her out. My mum was teaching me how to take care of her and asked me to do it. Amazingly my grandmother was recovering. The next day she could talk. After that she could read the new...
Read more

Relationships are worth restoring

Just to be clear, when I said relationships I did not limit myself to just boyfriend/girlfriend but to every kind of possible relationships in this world. Relationships are always worth restoring. They are what matters most in life. Relationship with God,friends, siblings, with your boss, parents, soul mate, wife, children, etc. They build bridges between each other. If your live as a hermit, live within the shadows, think your are better off alone, then you wont grow. We can only grow in a community where we learn from our mistakes, humble ourselves,....wait getting off point here. Life is all about love. Love is the most powerful thing. We should learn how to love . For me, I would like to be in the ministry of restoring relationships. For those who do not know what ministry means, it means some kind of governing body or main focus in a job. For this case, governing body for restoring relationships. They are worth restoring because every relationship hold opportunities in greatness...
Read more

Be silent, and listen

What does it mean to wait, be silent , and listen?   Before I begin, I also be silent and think, whether this would bore you readers .....and then I continue XP  The words silent and listen are usually used in a parallel manner if you noticed. Doing these three things needs patience. There is always a time to be silent and a time to speak . One cannot listen if they are not silent. Sometimes, wisdom does not come from telling people what you know, showing them you are right, proving them wrong, later on to feel all high and mighty. Sometimes wisdom also means to be silent, hear them out, listen to all their wrongs and rights and taking it in. The right time will come to say the right words. Ever heard of.. ." It was the right thing to say, but wrong time to do it"? Yeah it is as you have read it. One can cause unfavourable damage if they keep speaking but on the other hand, one can lose opportunities when they become silent at times when they are needed to be heard. ...
Read more