I've always been ordinary

This one is a pretty short and simple post.... I think. It got me thinking today and my fingers just started writing. 

People always say, Eddryll, the popular kid. Everyone goes to me. On and on and on. Now, I'm not going to deny such a fact that well pockets in my life those things were true. Some carry on till today. But I sort of go meh. Now don't get me wrong. I am not humblebragging. I will admit to certain things. I believe I do not go "Oh please I'm not this and that". *I just shuddered writing that*

However, the reality I would want to bring up is this. I have always been ordinary. That is just it. Bear with me as I try to explain this fact to you. I look at my life. Really look at it. I'm no smart person. I am no theologian. I am no intellectual (Engaging in intellect and being one is two different things). I am literally the averagest joe you can ever meet. I mean look at me. No seriously look at me. Now after all that you have seen in my life, would you not agree to this fact? Take a look back on my life you probably go...."hmmm yeah, I get ya".

I do not seek to change the world. Simply because I realistically cannot. I can tell you a number of people who are way more capable. Way more talented. Has way more achievements than I ever will. Good for them. I am happy for them. Why wouldn't I be.

So now obviously I will say I am still successful. But what definition of success am I telling you? Because, I am messing up almost daily. I am no prodigy. What is my....lack for a better word secret? Success is then defined for me as knowing your reason, purpose and design. Not what the world defines your reason, purpose and design. I am free from that.
Few things I personally like to point out:-

1. I found an identity that is unshakable. 
The one identity that overarches everything else is simply my identity as a Child of God. Now now, obivously I can sense some people already rolling their eyes. You have the liberty to stop reading. But can you imagine such an identity in which nothing and no one can poke nor damage. Because nothing is ever higher than God. Ever. So here is the thing. I have nothing to prove. Because God has proven it to me of who I am and who He is. I live my life according to how God wants me to be. Nothing restrictive. Simply because I clearly see how when I make my own decisions for my life I tend to make the wrong ones. I takut dei. But either way, my identity is not in my work, my family, my friends. They are part of me. But they do not ultimately define me. It is in which my identity is in Christ that everything else flows from it.

2. I run my race in which the only competitor is myself. 
I run my race with perseverance. There is no need to compare. Why? Because they are not me. I am not him. She is different from me. We are all humans indeed. Gifted with different talents and purpose. I roughly know how I was designed and right now I know it is not to be a singer for example. If there is a race intended for me, I am my only competitor. I have people running at my side, but as supports and not to overtake me. Even if they did, they could not. Because it is not their race. They should not be able to shake me. I will be able to shake myself. My messed up, brokenness within me would usually be the one paralyzing me.

3. Trusting God
You only can do this if one has seen that God is a good God. Because if I do not see Him as good, why then would I trust Him? Simple logic. But personally for me, His faithfulness has blown me away countless times. I have lived enough (obviously a long way to go....or not) to navigate my decisions in such a manner where I would go "Okay God if this is not it fine. Move on. You know best." But it is understanding the reality of Pslams 16:11. One of my favourite favourite verses. If the reality is this, that he has made known the path of life, his presence has fullness of joy and pleasures in his right hands forevermore...well wouldn't I want that? I want life. I want joy. I want pleasure. Forever! and if I have seen enough by His grace this revelation, I believe trusting God is but the wisest move I can ever make.

That being said. TO BE FAIR. It is easier said than done. I know identity in Christ has made me confident in a manner where hey, the Gospel clearly states everyone is a bum. The constant need to perform is no more on my neck. Perfection is found in Christ and so now I pursue him constantly.
Obviously time to time I tend to compare. Because reality is I am ordinary. There are a lot of people who are better than me. I may go "Daaaang he/she awesomeeeeee". But by God's grace I am reminded. I am human. Please. Give me a break. =P
I constantly fail to trust Him and time and time again he shows me He is still there for me. Knowing me, my mind races way faster than any other parts of my body. Waaaay faster than God can tell me. It is like I'm running and God goes, "Eddryll watch out fo...." Yeap I hit the tree.

But the whole point of this at the end of the day is just to show you I have always been ordinary. God is the one that is more than ordinary. What you see in me is His grace in my life. Believe me I know. I mean, look at me. Really? That is why I celebrate Him not me. That is why half the puns and jokes I make revolves around the gospel. (Not making fun of the gospel, do not misunderstand).
All I do is take things one day at a time (imperfectly of course) and faithfully take those steps that has been revealed and trusting Him in the highs and especially the lows and be amazed by how you will slowly learn to see the big picture of things. And if someone were to go "wow" at me, I will just stand beside him and also "wow" with him. And then tell them that it was God all along. Not me. He, gets the glory.

So as for me and my house (future house hahaha), we will serve the Lord.