Character Formation? Not an easy subject.
I think it is a normal conception to think a subject such as character formation that has no academic bearing over their course would be an easy subject to teach. Depends on how you see it. If I were to go there and do my academic requirement and teach I guess it would be easy. I just do what is required of me. Whether you pay attention or not doesn't matter. At the end of the day I am still getting paid.
Every time I walk in. What goes through my mind is whether I would inspire them today. Will I cause them to think of something new. Is it possible to come to the position of humility in which we all see the reality of who we are? Will I offer something new for them? I constantly ask God for wisdom every single day. It is the main thing I ask for every morning.
I admit, that I do not have the stresses of setting exam papers, making sure they have full attendance, and checking up on their academic performance if they are lacking. Character Formation does not have that. And it makes sense if I am perceived as having more time on my hands. Yet the one thing people point out is that I am often tired. Because my class comes at a different cost. While I do not have those stresses as stated in the above I have other stresses actually. But these costs will only count so as long as I genuinely have the passion in what I am doing. Because If I teach only to what is expected of me, the harsh honest answer is I could not be bothered any more as long as I am fulfilling my hours.
But no. That is not the case. God placed me here for some reason. And it has been the greatest blessing ever since. To be able to journey and impact the students. As much as I give my time and effort wanting to bless them, in the end it is me who is being blessed. I guess it is true when they say it is better to give than to receive.
Why isn't it easy?
The current generation. I have to thread really carefully here. But in all humility this is what I have learnt and observed. And yes, I am part of this generation also. But we are in an individualistic world. Everyone is looking for self-fulfillment. Looking from all around and from within. But the downside is that looking at one's self creates this tendency to also be self-entitled. In that self-entitlement creates this idea that the world is suppose to revolve around you. When things go bad (which they will), then we start complaining and ranting as if the world owed us something. Not to say that it can't. But a life solely focused on only the self sounds pretty sad because it is so limited and you are bound to be disappointed.
It is a challenge because here I am teaching that relationships are worth restoring, marriage is a beautiful thing, empathy is very important in a generation that wants to be only independent, where relationships are a burden, and I want to be understood rather than understanding someone.
The emotional and mental capacity is another cost I have. By God's grace somehow God has given me a specific set of skills to aid me in understanding a person easier. By being more observant, with my prior knowledge of Psychology, and skill in listening I find it easy to usually enter the frequency of people. To engage with the eyes of my heart to see another in all its transparency. So it aids in my class because my class is all about breaking down barriers and touching on taboo topics. Establishing that students would find me more approachable to talk on life in general. I have to be careful as I speak here. This is by no means bragging (seriously no reason to), but merely stating a fact of the nature of my job and who I am. Even then. I am making a lot of mistakes as I go. I am saying a lot of wrong things along the way. Because as much of an "understanding" person I claim I am. I come to realize the many things I fail to catch around me. it sucks but I am learning.
Now this is by no means saying that the cost of other subjects are any less stressful. I am just highlighting that I go through a different set of stress. After each class I am drained. I rarely have any outlets myself. I have much to learn.
Drawing the line and barrier of a lecturer student relationship is trickier. See I am not saying it is impossible. But it is trickier. Because the only way to truly teach character formation in all it's effectiveness is that I have to be transparent but not vulnerable because I need to maintain a lecturer student relationship not brotherly friend relationship. That is secondary. There is no such thing as going at a heart to heart level but not even showing a part of myself. So now I have to figure out a certain formula that works for me. For students to understand where I am coming from and truly get what I teach without the need of being overly attached. I can empathize with you. I will teach you how to empathize. Does not make me have to be totally part of your life. I wish I could. I wish I was naruto having all the chakra in the world but I am a kakashi having to use my chakra wisely.
Big class. The smallest reason lah among all of these. But nonetheless, imagine having to get the attention of every single student in my class? On average I have 100 students per class. Because my heart desires for each and every one of them to learn and to be enlightened. I make promises I know I cannot keep. No matter how many times I fail I will always say that I will try to remember their names. I always forget their names and I will always ask because I understand what it means to be known. So I want to know them by their names. There will be hard students who will challenge you and see how much you know. There will be students who think it is pointless. There will be students who just do not want anything to do with me. But for those who do see the point of this class, it is awesome. But I approach each and everyone of them. At the same time I cannot be there for everyone.
Why do I go through it still?
That being said how I carry on? It is because it is such a joy to be able to teach. Such a joy to journey with students to talk on life. Because I do not see this as a job or career. I literally see this as where God has placed me. And since he has placed me here, it is where I will serve wholeheartedly.
It is because I teach what I teach with the highest of conviction and confidence. While they do not wholly agree with me, at least they know I am not messing around. I am sincerely telling them in each class that it is possible. It is doable. There is a way. Character wins it all.
It is to have that desire to see the students to get it. To shift their paradigm on what matters most. What a platform and an opportunity given to me to help reshape and guide them as they will be the next generation of people. To truly get them to think and ask the questions on life.
A personal reminder
I too have to remind myself to learn to fight my battles. I am far from perfect. I have much to learn and God will constantly humble me as I go along. I love to teach but I am only 10 months in. Some may say I am doing well. But I say there is so much room for improvement.
I want to teach to a level where students are engaged from the start to the end. Yes call me idealistic.
But let me word it this way. I hold on to the ideal while not losing focus on what is real. That way I can rely on the Holy Spirit while taking it one step at a time.
I need to learn patience. I need to learn to rest. I need to learn to slow down. I am just learning daily and that is how I know my character is being formed.
P.S. To be fair to the rest of my colleagues, yes I enjoy what I do. I love the things I do in MCKL. I like the kind of stress I am in. If I am placed to teach a more academic subject I am willing to learn sure. A very different stress that I humbly say one can't compare but should you compare then you are probably right, I generally have more time than majority.
But what if I did not see it that way? What if I saw this subject as a privilege to impact students? (In which I do). It then becomes a whole new thing. Teaching the subject becomes a ministry and a mission.
 |
| It is tough. I have my challenges. Do not call it easy. Raaawwwrrr |
Every time I walk in. What goes through my mind is whether I would inspire them today. Will I cause them to think of something new. Is it possible to come to the position of humility in which we all see the reality of who we are? Will I offer something new for them? I constantly ask God for wisdom every single day. It is the main thing I ask for every morning.
I admit, that I do not have the stresses of setting exam papers, making sure they have full attendance, and checking up on their academic performance if they are lacking. Character Formation does not have that. And it makes sense if I am perceived as having more time on my hands. Yet the one thing people point out is that I am often tired. Because my class comes at a different cost. While I do not have those stresses as stated in the above I have other stresses actually. But these costs will only count so as long as I genuinely have the passion in what I am doing. Because If I teach only to what is expected of me, the harsh honest answer is I could not be bothered any more as long as I am fulfilling my hours.
But no. That is not the case. God placed me here for some reason. And it has been the greatest blessing ever since. To be able to journey and impact the students. As much as I give my time and effort wanting to bless them, in the end it is me who is being blessed. I guess it is true when they say it is better to give than to receive.
Why isn't it easy?
The current generation. I have to thread really carefully here. But in all humility this is what I have learnt and observed. And yes, I am part of this generation also. But we are in an individualistic world. Everyone is looking for self-fulfillment. Looking from all around and from within. But the downside is that looking at one's self creates this tendency to also be self-entitled. In that self-entitlement creates this idea that the world is suppose to revolve around you. When things go bad (which they will), then we start complaining and ranting as if the world owed us something. Not to say that it can't. But a life solely focused on only the self sounds pretty sad because it is so limited and you are bound to be disappointed.
It is a challenge because here I am teaching that relationships are worth restoring, marriage is a beautiful thing, empathy is very important in a generation that wants to be only independent, where relationships are a burden, and I want to be understood rather than understanding someone.
 |
| Brain friend. Put egg on me and it will cook. Eggciting isn't it? |
The emotional and mental capacity is another cost I have. By God's grace somehow God has given me a specific set of skills to aid me in understanding a person easier. By being more observant, with my prior knowledge of Psychology, and skill in listening I find it easy to usually enter the frequency of people. To engage with the eyes of my heart to see another in all its transparency. So it aids in my class because my class is all about breaking down barriers and touching on taboo topics. Establishing that students would find me more approachable to talk on life in general. I have to be careful as I speak here. This is by no means bragging (seriously no reason to), but merely stating a fact of the nature of my job and who I am. Even then. I am making a lot of mistakes as I go. I am saying a lot of wrong things along the way. Because as much of an "understanding" person I claim I am. I come to realize the many things I fail to catch around me. it sucks but I am learning.
Now this is by no means saying that the cost of other subjects are any less stressful. I am just highlighting that I go through a different set of stress. After each class I am drained. I rarely have any outlets myself. I have much to learn.
Drawing the line and barrier of a lecturer student relationship is trickier. See I am not saying it is impossible. But it is trickier. Because the only way to truly teach character formation in all it's effectiveness is that I have to be transparent but not vulnerable because I need to maintain a lecturer student relationship not brotherly friend relationship. That is secondary. There is no such thing as going at a heart to heart level but not even showing a part of myself. So now I have to figure out a certain formula that works for me. For students to understand where I am coming from and truly get what I teach without the need of being overly attached. I can empathize with you. I will teach you how to empathize. Does not make me have to be totally part of your life. I wish I could. I wish I was naruto having all the chakra in the world but I am a kakashi having to use my chakra wisely.
Big class. The smallest reason lah among all of these. But nonetheless, imagine having to get the attention of every single student in my class? On average I have 100 students per class. Because my heart desires for each and every one of them to learn and to be enlightened. I make promises I know I cannot keep. No matter how many times I fail I will always say that I will try to remember their names. I always forget their names and I will always ask because I understand what it means to be known. So I want to know them by their names. There will be hard students who will challenge you and see how much you know. There will be students who think it is pointless. There will be students who just do not want anything to do with me. But for those who do see the point of this class, it is awesome. But I approach each and everyone of them. At the same time I cannot be there for everyone.
Why do I go through it still?
That being said how I carry on? It is because it is such a joy to be able to teach. Such a joy to journey with students to talk on life. Because I do not see this as a job or career. I literally see this as where God has placed me. And since he has placed me here, it is where I will serve wholeheartedly.
It is because I teach what I teach with the highest of conviction and confidence. While they do not wholly agree with me, at least they know I am not messing around. I am sincerely telling them in each class that it is possible. It is doable. There is a way. Character wins it all.
It is to have that desire to see the students to get it. To shift their paradigm on what matters most. What a platform and an opportunity given to me to help reshape and guide them as they will be the next generation of people. To truly get them to think and ask the questions on life.
A personal reminder
I too have to remind myself to learn to fight my battles. I am far from perfect. I have much to learn and God will constantly humble me as I go along. I love to teach but I am only 10 months in. Some may say I am doing well. But I say there is so much room for improvement.
I want to teach to a level where students are engaged from the start to the end. Yes call me idealistic.
But let me word it this way. I hold on to the ideal while not losing focus on what is real. That way I can rely on the Holy Spirit while taking it one step at a time.
I need to learn patience. I need to learn to rest. I need to learn to slow down. I am just learning daily and that is how I know my character is being formed.
P.S. To be fair to the rest of my colleagues, yes I enjoy what I do. I love the things I do in MCKL. I like the kind of stress I am in. If I am placed to teach a more academic subject I am willing to learn sure. A very different stress that I humbly say one can't compare but should you compare then you are probably right, I generally have more time than majority.
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