Reflections during and after CF Presidency
Some of you may have heard this be CF before. But basically being the Cf president this is really the only story I can tell. God will raise up his people in the right time and place according to His will.
If you knew me back then, you would not have believed who I was today. The person I have become is because of how God has shaped me. I know some people do not like to attribute it to God in which they claim it is by their own effort. Let us not go there shall we =). It is my belief as a Christian. But the fact that I was so out of character, broken, and unready only made it clearer of God's grace in my life. So I stand here proclaiming that whatever achievements I have had is because of God's work in me and not me. His power was made perfect through my weakness and I can't help but reinforce my point in which I am not able to take one bit of the glory here. I am grateful nonetheless the road that God has put me on.
I could have had another route in life. Had a band and maybe even pursue some form of music career with it. I had other desires and dreams in my mind for when I came to uni. But God, invaded every aspect of my life, took that away from me. If I left it at just that, that would make Him a bad God to deprive me. But he took it away from me, and showed me something better. He showed me Him. Placed me in positions to serve Him. Eventually becoming the CF president. Mind I tell you, I was thrown into the deep end of the pool. The way I was chosen was on the spot as it was a two year plan in choosing the president. I was the second in line and it was automatic. If I were to be honest, I had no time to think. I was chosen and that was that. Literally deep end. (I'm sure the leaders who chose me would be laughing if they read this). But yet that was God's will.
I shared my concerns with my mum in which with words of wisdom she encouraged me by saying "Lead with his strength and not yours. Go with the capacity of His wisdom and not your wisdom". In which she even forgot she ever told me that. And so I did. It was a daily reminder to not take things into my own hands and to lead according to His will. Yes I made my fair share of mistakes along the way. I did at times take the whole burden on my shoulder in which Christ would gladly say I have already done that for you. His yolk is easy and light. I was constantly reminded that as I led the CF, it was not my personal responsibility to take everyone's burden on my shoulder but always lead them back to Christ the only one who can. What I needed to focus on was to constantly seek his kingdom and righteousness (Though imperfectly). I was reminded that as much as the responsibility of a leader weighs on me, the most important thing was not to neglect my relationship with Christ. All in all through the ups and down and thick and thin His grace was always sufficient and He was always faithful to see me through. I did not say there were not moments of sadness, sorrow and anger. But my point is through it all there was joy and unshakable peace because I knew who God was.
Thought I feel that I need to clarify something. Some reading this might think that my life has become restrictive. That I live for God and is unable to do anything else. I did mention that He has shown me something better. I do not do it because I have to but more importantly I do it because I love him. Like if I choose not to get drunk with alcohol and I stay away from it. That is not legalistic being unable to enjoy life, but rather wisdom because of what harm drunkenness can do to me. (It is an example). Just thought I put out this disclaimer. Thus, could be our definitions of enjoying life is different. I do not live just for God but I live because of God.
So time went on. I thought I knew what I wanted to do in life. But ever since leading the CF, I grew a love for the people there even more. I came to see how God's purpose can be fulfilled through a number of such small Christians. I came to care for each and every one of them with my limited resources and time and wanted so much for them. Wanted them to know Christ more than ever. To grow in a deeper relationship with Him. To proclaim the gospel. To make disciples of all nations. To love one another as Christ first loved so that when people see us, they will know that we are disciples of Christ. When the non believers see the CF, they may not want to be a Christian anytime yet but they will be amazed at how the members loved one another. I had that vision in mind and I know that vision is still being carried on in the new CF. At the end of the day, it was God's CF. His will would be carried out. By his grace, I would be in step with the Holy Spirit each time. And in my weakness as well, God sent people, to rebuke me when needed, to encourage me when needed, and to lighten my burden when needed. I was never alone in this.....crusade (lack for a better word). So now I am sort of back to square one figuring what to do after this as a career. I know when the time comes, God will reveal this revelation to me. The question for all of us is whether we would be able to trust in His sovereign love.
So yeah, this is my reflection upon stepping down as CF president. This one really took me hours to write. Since I was....reflecting as I write. Well, it has been a good ride though it is not good bye. It never is. I have learned more than I actually gave. All I can say is I am grateful for the opportunity and may the new comm continue impacting the lives of the CFs and the campus.
If you knew me back then, you would not have believed who I was today. The person I have become is because of how God has shaped me. I know some people do not like to attribute it to God in which they claim it is by their own effort. Let us not go there shall we =). It is my belief as a Christian. But the fact that I was so out of character, broken, and unready only made it clearer of God's grace in my life. So I stand here proclaiming that whatever achievements I have had is because of God's work in me and not me. His power was made perfect through my weakness and I can't help but reinforce my point in which I am not able to take one bit of the glory here. I am grateful nonetheless the road that God has put me on.
I could have had another route in life. Had a band and maybe even pursue some form of music career with it. I had other desires and dreams in my mind for when I came to uni. But God, invaded every aspect of my life, took that away from me. If I left it at just that, that would make Him a bad God to deprive me. But he took it away from me, and showed me something better. He showed me Him. Placed me in positions to serve Him. Eventually becoming the CF president. Mind I tell you, I was thrown into the deep end of the pool. The way I was chosen was on the spot as it was a two year plan in choosing the president. I was the second in line and it was automatic. If I were to be honest, I had no time to think. I was chosen and that was that. Literally deep end. (I'm sure the leaders who chose me would be laughing if they read this). But yet that was God's will.
I shared my concerns with my mum in which with words of wisdom she encouraged me by saying "Lead with his strength and not yours. Go with the capacity of His wisdom and not your wisdom". In which she even forgot she ever told me that. And so I did. It was a daily reminder to not take things into my own hands and to lead according to His will. Yes I made my fair share of mistakes along the way. I did at times take the whole burden on my shoulder in which Christ would gladly say I have already done that for you. His yolk is easy and light. I was constantly reminded that as I led the CF, it was not my personal responsibility to take everyone's burden on my shoulder but always lead them back to Christ the only one who can. What I needed to focus on was to constantly seek his kingdom and righteousness (Though imperfectly). I was reminded that as much as the responsibility of a leader weighs on me, the most important thing was not to neglect my relationship with Christ. All in all through the ups and down and thick and thin His grace was always sufficient and He was always faithful to see me through. I did not say there were not moments of sadness, sorrow and anger. But my point is through it all there was joy and unshakable peace because I knew who God was.
Thought I feel that I need to clarify something. Some reading this might think that my life has become restrictive. That I live for God and is unable to do anything else. I did mention that He has shown me something better. I do not do it because I have to but more importantly I do it because I love him. Like if I choose not to get drunk with alcohol and I stay away from it. That is not legalistic being unable to enjoy life, but rather wisdom because of what harm drunkenness can do to me. (It is an example). Just thought I put out this disclaimer. Thus, could be our definitions of enjoying life is different. I do not live just for God but I live because of God.
So time went on. I thought I knew what I wanted to do in life. But ever since leading the CF, I grew a love for the people there even more. I came to see how God's purpose can be fulfilled through a number of such small Christians. I came to care for each and every one of them with my limited resources and time and wanted so much for them. Wanted them to know Christ more than ever. To grow in a deeper relationship with Him. To proclaim the gospel. To make disciples of all nations. To love one another as Christ first loved so that when people see us, they will know that we are disciples of Christ. When the non believers see the CF, they may not want to be a Christian anytime yet but they will be amazed at how the members loved one another. I had that vision in mind and I know that vision is still being carried on in the new CF. At the end of the day, it was God's CF. His will would be carried out. By his grace, I would be in step with the Holy Spirit each time. And in my weakness as well, God sent people, to rebuke me when needed, to encourage me when needed, and to lighten my burden when needed. I was never alone in this.....crusade (lack for a better word). So now I am sort of back to square one figuring what to do after this as a career. I know when the time comes, God will reveal this revelation to me. The question for all of us is whether we would be able to trust in His sovereign love.
So yeah, this is my reflection upon stepping down as CF president. This one really took me hours to write. Since I was....reflecting as I write. Well, it has been a good ride though it is not good bye. It never is. I have learned more than I actually gave. All I can say is I am grateful for the opportunity and may the new comm continue impacting the lives of the CFs and the campus.
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