Death and Grief never really prepared.

Before I begin, this is solely my opinion. You see Christian jargons in it, it is because it is the main framework and view I have on it and nothing more. 

I've been to two wakes this year. I've definitely heard of deaths. Had a friend commit suicide. In all of it, it has given me time to observe and learn. The only thing I truly learned was that you are never prepared for what is coming. You know, from the observer, friend looking in, in truth, you never really know what to say. You can be nice, try to console, but for me as I am learning, the best consolation is to be silent and let them know that you are there. It is indeed on an empathetic level that I will not be able to understand. Yes you can have perspective taking on the person's view but to literally put yourself in their shoes, is to have the same reality brought into your life. Personally for those who claim they know what it feels like, it leaves me skeptical if you have yet to experience it. I mean, how do you confidently say it?

Even C.S.Lewis got into struggling with God in anger and grief when his wife past away. An intellectual and academically gifted man like him even had a faith that was like a house of cards when the moment truly counted. Of course you know what the Bible says, you know the joy of heaven, you know that death is not the end of it. But think about it, in their moment of pain, would you want to go and say "remember the gospel", "She is in a better place now", "He is in God's hands now". @.@ I mean, wasn't he always in God's hands? Lewis makes this statement in which i find so true:

Talk to me about the truth of religion and I will listen gladly.

Talk to me about the duty of religion, and I will listen submissively.

But don't come talking to me about the consolation of religion, or I shall suspect that you don't understand.

When you are literally in the moment. Could you actually utter those words of comfort? Either you are a robot who tells themselves and wholly believe the Bible, or an individual who truly loves the Lord whole heartedly and have faith that can truly move mountains. I think a robot makes a more sensible case for reality. Only what Paul says can comfort those who love God better than the dead. Never found anyone like that other than Jesus.
Even Lewis struggled with this fact of death and grief. All what religion tells suddenly falls out the window. D.A.Carson's book on suffering tries to give a theological perspective on it.Even he knows to say that the answer he gives is not to comfort but rather put you in the right perspective so that you would not be so surprised by it. Lewis knew what he was bargaining for, he knew the life of a Christian is not all of bed of roses but a life in total dependence of Christ. But in a sense I take comfort to see how human he is when the time came he could not do it. I take comfort when the apostle Peter looks away from Jesus he becomes so weak. It shows that we are just humans.

At the end, I am still learning. I will never be perfect. As I am reading 'A grief observed' by C.S.Lewis, he comes to realize that the grief he is having wanting his wife back is only to restore the past not present. In which his faith in Christ equaled his love for his wife. Only under torture and suffering will the truth be seen. Only a real risk is the test for one's belief. The sooner one realizes his house of cards are torn down the better. 

To conclude, you are never truly prepared for death or a death of a family. Personally for me, my answer is I don't know what to do. One thing I know I will do is that I will rough it out with God. At the end, I know, I will not be able to handle it in which let go of all hope in which the only hope that I do not see is God still holding on to me. This is just my personal opinion, and still in working progress. I trust another post of death and grief may appear years to come from now =).