Believe the best or assume the worst (Part 2)

So part 1 of this topic was introducing what is all the " believe the best, assume the worst " was about. http://eddproteo.blogspot.com/2012/12/believe-best-or-assume-worst.html

So as I have stated in my last post. We develop an attitude when we fill in the gap. And that gap is what it is promised. The expectations of someone. What you see and who you are causes what we put into the gap. It determines whether we believe the best or assume otherwise. The experience we go through shapes the decisions we make. People who are able to stay in love learn to believe the best.

In every relationships there is always misunderstandings. Whether happy ones or unhappy ones. What makes it different is the happy ones believed the best while the unhappy ones assumed the worst.
Remember the first time one fell in love? Everything the other person does is good. Nothing bad about him or her. Because we believed the best. As Andy Stanley would say it "She is not impatient, she is just intense" or "He ain't an angry person, he is just really focused", " It is not that she is clumsy, it is because the fire hydrant was in the way!". Yeah you may find it amusing but hey it happened to you before. See what I did there. In the sentences, the subjects believed the best. That is how it is suppose to be in a relationship.

Cruel truth, human nature, we kinda like it when our spouse or friend screws up. It just gives us an excuse to be right. You wanna shout " I told you so! You see, you were like this and will always be!". You think you win the arguments but, you lose the relationship.
Love protects the integrity, hopes in the other person, and believes in him/her. The last thing your spouse wants to do is to disappoint you. Shouting I told you so, you always fail me, you can't fulfil my expectations does not help at all. When you go negative on your partner, it is also telling him or her that they will never be able to measure up. To decrease that disappointment is to fill in the gap by believing the best =)

Andy Stanley says that by doing that, you create margin in a relationship and thus your spouse will move towards that direction. It is not the point that your partner screws up, it is saying "I trust you" before hearing the explanation.
Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.
here is the link of the sermon http://www.northpoint.org/messages/staying-in-love

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