Tendencies of dating
This is somewhat interrelated to my previous post on intimacy http://eddproteo.blogspot.com/2012/07/dating-will-have-intimacy-may-have-no.html
Now before I continue, let me clarify I am no expert in what I write. I just share my thoughts from what I read. After all, my blog is called 'My Very Mind'.
When you date, you tend to skip the friendship part. Often it pushes you to romance too quickly before getting to know the person better. Of course there are those who date and start to learn about each other, learn about their weaknesses, love them in spite of it and continue with it. Well, bless you indeed but matter of fact, it is rare to see occasions like these.
Joshua Harris says " Dating encourages romantic expectations ". Now imagine if you were friends instead. You will have no pressure on knowing whether he or she likes you or not. You feel free to be yourself. There is no requirements of you being perfect. You don't need make up, you don't need to put a mask of "perfection" on. All you need to be around friends, is be you =). Yes of course in another whole new topic of friendship, you get being conservative, cautious and all that...but....you know what I mean XP. If after developing a friendship and you start to have romantic feelings for the person then it would be an added bonus. But skipping the friendship part......mmmm mmm
Which brings us to the next thing.
Now before I continue, let me clarify I am no expert in what I write. I just share my thoughts from what I read. After all, my blog is called 'My Very Mind'.
When you date, you tend to skip the friendship part. Often it pushes you to romance too quickly before getting to know the person better. Of course there are those who date and start to learn about each other, learn about their weaknesses, love them in spite of it and continue with it. Well, bless you indeed but matter of fact, it is rare to see occasions like these.
Joshua Harris says " Dating encourages romantic expectations ". Now imagine if you were friends instead. You will have no pressure on knowing whether he or she likes you or not. You feel free to be yourself. There is no requirements of you being perfect. You don't need make up, you don't need to put a mask of "perfection" on. All you need to be around friends, is be you =). Yes of course in another whole new topic of friendship, you get being conservative, cautious and all that...but....you know what I mean XP. If after developing a friendship and you start to have romantic feelings for the person then it would be an added bonus. But skipping the friendship part......mmmm mmm
Which brings us to the next thing.
Dating creates an artificial environment for evaluating another person's character (Harris).
If you want to find a suitable mate for yourself, know that dating has a high tendency to hinder that process. Since you are dating you play according to the rules of dating. Guy bring flowers, be the gentlemen every women desires, girl acts sweet and ladylike....But is that really you? My point is each individual can convey an artificial image of themselves, or should I say putting on a mask. You flaunt your positive traits and hide the negative ones.
The Famous C.S.Lewis said this about friendship
Two people walking side by side towards the common goal
Premises for dating (at least nowadays) in its most basic form without sugar coating is this " I'm attracted to you; therefore lets get to know each other"
For friendship " We are interested in the same things; lets enjoy these common interests together "
Joshua Harris said this that seemed harsh but true to a certain extent.
Intimacy without commitment is defrauding. Intimacy without friendship is superficial. A relationship based only on physical attraction and romantic feelings will last only as long as the feelings last.
Ask yourself, what do I have in common with the person I am dating now? Is intimacy all we have?
Just in case you misunderstand....I used the word TENDENCY =P. I am careful with my words huh
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