There is no such thing as 'The One'

The last time I blogged about The One it was about me not knowing the answer and complaining everyone who found their 'ONE' saying you'll just know when the time comes. Seriously that answer just did not suffice. After making lots of research (which means there will be citations inside here), this is what I have come to conclude.


You never marry 'The One'. I begin with what Keller (2012) said " Today we are looking for someone who accepts us as we are and fulfills our desires, and this creates an unrealistic set of expectations that frustrates both the searchers and the searched for.".  Today as I have always said, marriage has somewhat lost its significance in the eyes of the word. The reasons people get married was because they claim they were 'So in Love' then once they get into on, and the years pass by , they find that initial love they use to have is not able to sustain them. 
We are missing the point of marriage here! We always want too much out of our marriage partner. This is also due to the the fallacious acts of the media telling you what marriage is all about. Ok I have blogged about humans being imperfect right? Now piece this puzzle together. Marriage is when two imperfect, flawed people come together to create a space of stability, love and consolation ( Keller, 2012). In other words it is to create " a haven in a heartless world " as Christopher Lasch describes it. People these days usually look for someone to accept them for who they are, complement and validate them, as well as fulfil their sexual and emotional needs.
Compatibility is out of the picture here. I believe put any two couples to be married and it will work out. It all depends on the individual. Honesty, love, communication....you know the rest. Furthermore, know that you change the moment you are married .=)


Another misinterpretation of marriage is when they see it as self-fulfilment , a necessity to become whole as a family and if we just focus enough, we will marry the right one. Fact is, we always marry the wrong person. Irony, we never keep to the part of the vow when we said "for better for worse'. Hauerwas said that the primary challenge for marriage is learning how to love and care for the stranger to whom you find yourself married ( as cited by Keller, 2012). Why marriage seems so hard? From Hauerwas point, I remind you guys and gals that we human are born initially to be selfish, looking out only for ourselves. It is normal. It is being human. That is why in a marriage we should change from selfish to selfless.


Think about it. I believe, no...I know love has no age. There is no when to right time comes. Love can find its way at the age of 12. But usually in this world, it is never that early. What does it mean to say I love you to another. When you say it, how heavy is that word that it would strike the hearts of your loved ones? How sincere are you in uttering that word? Do we understand it? Do we fathom it? I learned. If I were to love my wife more than anyone else, I must learn to love God more than I love her so that I can love her more. ( now I learnt that from a song ).
Basically you know my routine, I can go on and on, but then again I do not want to bore my readers. Peace out! 
I'd say instead of finding 'TheOne', I'd make myself be The One.