Just Help me

My survival mode is on. I am hanging in there. =) Its stupid to get involved in petty issues like this. Though petty, it is important to me. What I tell myself?
When are you gonna release me God when you have drawn me back like an arrow? How far you are gonna draw me back till I can go the furthest to hit the target?? I understand if you want me to go far, you have to pull me back at a proper distance at first. 
God's grace is sufficient for me. I shall be dependent on God's provision. I shall trust the Lord and throw my brain away and have a childlike faith. A faith that would want to move mountains. I shall not lean on to my own understanding. 
I know the end results is worth it. It is just unfortunate for me. Of all people I was chosen for this. Lord give me  a sign. Something that assures me to know I am on the right track. Whatever it is take me away from this feeling.
My first lament in a long time. Did not know where else to pour it out.

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